In 2018, most podcasts were weekly, conversational, nonfiction, content. The landscape was filled with interviews, reviews, true crime storytelling and educational formats. But that year Gimlet Media debuted something new when it released a scripted podcast called The Horrors of Dolores Roach. Well versed musical theater snobs surely recognized the premise as a take on the gruesome Sondheim musical, Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. I listened to that podcast straight through, no breaks. The entire production was a quick, fun listen. The podcast was first-person telling of Dolores, aka Magic Hands. Dolores returns to gentrified Washington Heights after a 16-year prison stint with nothing. What Dolores does have, though, is a gift for massages. When she links up with Luis, Dolores can’t believe her luck. Luis lets Dolores crash in the basement apartment under his empanada shop while she gets back on her feet. Dolores starts taking regular massage clients, making money, and smoking all the weed that Luis can provide. . Dolores’s luck turns when she accidentally murders a client. That accident begins a sequence of events that is simultaneously comical and macabre.
The Horrors of Dolores Roach podcast was like a play broadcast over radio in 2018. Each character was voiced by a different actor and the story came to life with sound production that put you inside the hustle and bustle of Washington Heights and Dolores’s twisted mind. The series easily lent itself to an adaptation on screen.
With the acclaimed horror production company Blumhouse Television behind the wheel, Amazon recently released a 7-episode series with very few changes to the podcast version. Justina Machado, from Netflix’s One Day at a Time remake, stars as Dolores. We love Justina. In One Day at a Time, she is confident and strong with perfect comedic timing, but as the serial killer in The Horrors of Dolores Roach, she holds back, playing Dolores as unsure of herself, indecisive, and aggrieved throughout most of the series. In this version, the story begins as Dolores sneaks into the dressing room of an actress playing her in an onstage production to set her straight as to the real woman behind the notorious murder spree publicized in the media. She is also coming to retrieve any profits she has coming to her. In that first scene, Dolores is beautiful, almost sultry, and absolutely intimidating. As a viewer, it’s exciting to see Justina like this, and I was immediately ready to dive in. From there, the series flash backs to Dolores’s prison release, and, like the podcast, she narrates her story.
The script doesn’t seem to have changed very much given that the audience can now see what’s happening. Dolores still monologues about every little thing happening around her and in her own mind. It’s not necessary. Justina is an adept actress. She delivers everything she needs to with her face, eyes, and her actions. The narration sometimes distracts from that. Additionally, The Horrors of Dolores Roach story misses what made the tale of Sweeney Todd a piece of work that has stood the test of time. Sweeney Todd makes no apologies or excuses for who he is and what he believes he must do. His anger is righteous, and the audience loves him for it. They love the goriness of Todd’s razor sliding across his victims’ necks and get into the horror of Mrs. Lovett baking the aftermath of his crimes into her meat pies.
We don’t get that from this iteration.
The Horrors changes Dolores’s sex and weakens her resolve and motivation. Instead of thanking Luis and rejoicing in his ingenuity, she berates him and argues with him about putting dead people in his empanadas. She spends one too many episodes whining, “How could you do that, Luis?” “What are you stupid, Luis?” and “This is insane, Luis!”
It’s like, girl!!! What did you expect him to do with the bodies you keep dropping in his basement? We only get to relish the kills with Dolores for a moment, before she breaks down and starts questioning her own actions, saying “I don’t want to be this person. “Yet, she keeps snapping necks without provocation.
Because this is a Blumhouse production, we get some gore from Luis’s disposal of the bodies, or rather his carving of the most useful parts. Other than that, the show is pretty tame for having “horrors” in its title. The story just tries too hard to trick the audience and Dolores, herself, into believing that she is also a victim of circumstance. She’s not a monster. She doesn’t relish in killing people. But in truth, she does. Several unnecessary kills throughout her time in that basement prove that fact. The story doesn’t do her justice by trying to deny that. It’s only in those first few minutes of the premiere episode and the last 15 or so of the finale, that Dolores embraces the bad bitch she really is. Unfortunately, it comes too late, and frankly, that’s the Dolores I wanted to see Justina play.
Predictably, The Horrors of Dolores Roach ends on a cliffhanger. No worries, though. The podcast released a second season years ago, so if you are anxious to hear more of Dolores’s story, you can listen at any time. The Horrors of Dolores Roach is available to stream on Amazon Prime.
