Photo by Screenshot
By Schezelle Ward
What sets the Evil Dead franchise apart from other horror movies is its humor. I won’t waste your time, here; you get none of that in this newest iteration. Now, I love horror. It’s my favorite genre. Jump scares, gushing blood, and the familiar good girl/ last girl standing tropes have always excited me. But the Evil Dead franchise has lasted this long because it’s ridiculous and fun! The kills are some of the most elaborate, grisly, messes you’ll find in the genre. The demons aren’t just there to infect the characters, but to read them all in self-aware hilarity. In Evil Dead Rise, we get kills, lots of blood, but none of the funny. There isn’t even a goofball hero prat falling to take the edge off. The Evil Dead Rises is just so serious – all Exorcist and no Zoolander. It’s like the creators forgot what this franchise is – a bloody horror comedy.
This newest addition takes us into some nondescript dark and stormy city, where an earthquake cracks the foundation open just enough to lead one of its main characters down into a former bank vault. While his younger sisters wait for him above ground, teenage music enthusiast, Danny, explores underground and eventually finds a crypt where ye olde Book of the Dead lies hidden away. And like any good horror trope fulfilled, Danny does the obviously dangerous thing, snagging the book along with a couple of dusty albums.
Fast forward 10 minutes later when he gets the book open, plays the albums on his DIY’d turntables, and tada!!: the book is awake and ready to possess. First it takes out mom, as we could’ve predicted from the trailers, and then she takes out… well, I won’t spoil it here. But it’s the EVIL DEAD, so you know pretty much anyone can get dead. It’s one of the things we all love about the Evil Dead franchise; no character is too important to sacrifice to the Book of the Dead.
We get the bloody kills we’ve come to expect, but nothing we haven’t already seen. Except maybe the three-headed, five-armed maniacal monster that comes together for the finale. Hell, I put together this entire review without mentioning our final girl. It doesn’t matter tho. She was just as charmless and humorless as the movie.
That being said, we did get our chainsaw moment, so, that’s something. Go see it if you want, but you may as well wait until it starts streaming and save your money. I kinda wish I had.
