“It’s still beating,” he whispers, his words a soft kiss against my lips. “As long as it’s beating, you’re okay.”
Because two weeks and 10 books later, this book still has me by the throat, I am reviewing Still Beating by Jennifer Hartmann. Jennifer, how dare you?! Before I get into it, be warned dear readers, this review WILL contain spoilers because it’s the only way to really understand why I’m obsessed with it. Also, mind your triggers because this Still Beating is rife with them.
First, Still Beating is a dark romance novel with “forbidden love” and “enemies to lovers” themes. It also heavily explores the dynamics of trauma bonding. Second, Still Beating is written in the dual POV style, meaning readers not only hear from both of main characters, but are also engrossed in each of their internal narratives throughout the book. Hartmann shakes the style up a little, however, by giving her characters entire sections instead of exchanging character POVs every other or every few chapters. I suspect Hartmann deviates from the more common every other chapter style because hearing from who we hear from at a particular time in the story not only drives that narrative but pulls the reader in further from an emotional standpoint. Finally, Still Beating is a “spicy” romance, so there is sex. Very detailed and graphic sex. There is also rape, however, as it’s essential to the plot of the story. Like I said, mind your triggers.
STORY
Still Beating tells the story of Cora and Dean. We meet them at their local bar during Cora’s sister, Mandy’s, 30th birthday celebration. From Cora, we learn that she, Mandy and Dean have all known each other since high school and Dean and Mandy have been a couple since that time as well. After 15 years together, Dean and Mandy’s wedding is only weeks away. Cora and Dean, however, have an antagonistic relationship. They are cordial for Mandy’s sake, but they barely have a kind word for one another.
When Mandy and Dean call it a night, Cora decides she wants to stay at the bar a while longer. This ends up being a mistake because she not only loses her wallet, but ends up unable to find a ride home. As her last resort, she begrudgingly calls Dean who comes to her rescue. Their ride home ends in terror when they’re stalked, attacked, and then kidnapped on the road. Cora and Dean then spend 20 days in captivity at the hands of a serial killer known as the Matchmaker. During those 20 days, Cora is repeatedly raped by The Matchmaker while Dean is forced to watch. To both of their horror, Dean is forced at gunpoint to also rape Cora. On their 20th day in The Matchmaker’s basement, Dean gets the upper hand, kills their kidnapper and they both escape.
The rest of the novel takes readers through a tumultuous journey as both Dean and Cora deal with the aftermath. This includes dealing with the media, the cops, social media, their families and friends, as well as the effects their captivity had on them individually and their relationship. To end, Cora and Dean develop complicated feelings for one another, leading them to gravitate toward each other in the aftermath of their trauma. Despite Dean’s engagement to Cora’s sister Mandy, our main characters fall in “trauma love” with one another and are forced to navigate those very strong and wrong feelings.
DISCUSSION
Let me begin by saying I cried throughout Still Beating. I cried for days after I finished this book. Even after reading other books so that I could get my mind off of this one, I still cried whenever I thought about Cora and Dean. When I talked to my mama about the book because I couldn’t keep it inside any longer, I cried while describing it to her. I also laughed a lot in this book too because both Cora and Dean are funny characters. Before their kidnapping, they spent most of their antagonistic relationship pranking each other. And even through their traumatic experience, they lean on each other for little laughs to keep up their spirits. Kudos to Hartmann for skillfully interweaving a backstory for these characters that brought their relationship before the events of the novel take place to life. Not only does it lend credence to how the characters’ relationship ultimately morphs into something new, but it helps the reader understand the choices each character makes and how the character will deal with their trauma. Hartmann takes care to ensure both Dean and Cora are fully realized and rounded out humans with specific personalities, insecurities, desires and hopes for their futures.
Now when I went into this book, I knew that there was a kidnapping and an escape. I didn’t know the characters, and by virtue I, would be spending a third of the book in detailed captivity. I won’t sugarcoat it; it was a tough read. I just wanted Part One to be over. I wanted our Dean and Cora to get the hell out of that basement, but we had to go through it to get to the other side. That being said, their time in the basement turned out some of Hartmann’s best writing because we get to know both Dean and Cora through their conversations with each other, their shared memories from childhood in the form of flashbacks, and how they each choose to comfort one another through this ordeal. They begin this time as two people forced to be around each other because of their relationships to Mandy. And even amidst their captivity, the hostility between them is palpable. But as hours in handcuffs and chains turn into days and then weeks of not knowing if their next moment will be their last, hating each other becomes less important than helping each other not give up.
Once Dean and Cora escape and return to their lives, everyone around them is the same, but they are irrevocably changed. To their families and friends, it was only 3 weeks and they survived. No one is telling them to get over it, but no one really understands the extent of what happened to them nor what happened between them. While their family knows that Cora was raped by the Matchmaker, no one knows that Dean was forced to rape Cora as well. When they escape, the police find several bodies in the killer’s yard and for a while believe that Dean and Cora are the only survivors. So Dean and Cora are able to keep the real story of their captivity to themselves for a while. This makes it even harder for outsiders, especially Mandy, to understand the behavior changes between Dean and Cora the way they begin to gravitate toward one another.
Dean and Cora are wounded and traumatized people secretly clinging to each other because of a bond, but also hurting one another because of the guilt and shame of having forbidden feelings for each other. Hartmann doesn’t shy away from the incredible fallout resulting from Dean and Cora’s feelings and the uphill battle that comes from trying to heal from the inevitable PTSD because of what happened to them. Still Beating is 34 chapters; 22 chapters deal with the aftermath. That is a lot of intense emotions, bad behavior and trauma bonding in one book, but there was no point where I wanted to put this book down. Every page made me want to turn to the next just to know what would happen between our main characters, and when it was all over, I still wanted more. Dean and Cora are written so true that even when choices they make scream, “this is so upsetting” or “this is gonna end so badly”, you believe in it because, of course, it’s what would happen if you were ever caught up in this situation. And despite everything that happens, you want to root for Dean and Cora’s healing and for them to find their way to each other.
Although it was a tough read, I recommend Still Beating it to anyone who can handle these types of stories because it is not for the faint of heart.
5/5 stars
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